8 ways in Winning Back Trust

Trust, to me, is a simple matter. It boils down to a pure essence, one that smells nothing like a rat. Trust is being where you’re supposed to be, when you're supposed to be, doing what you said you would do. In that respect, trust is just a series of repeat visits that coincide with the expectations of the truster, such that the truster doesn't have to be breathing down the other guy's neck eight days a week.
Trust is difficult to gain, but much more easily lost and almost impossible to win back. It can be lost through no fault of your own, such as by miscommunication or by bad timing. Another way to lose it is by getting sloppy and letting the quality of your work slide. Then there's losing trust by intentional deceit, like when Whitey Bulger informed the Feds that Howie Winter was fixing horse races. Imagine Mr. Winter trying to forgive and forget after 10 years in the clink.
A breach of trust is so difficult to forgive because trust is so vital to daily operations, and lifelong partnerships rely on it. But winning back trust is possible with the following methods.

Act early
Once you realize that you have betrayed someone's trust, tell the person yourself before someone else does. Put your hat in your hand, step onto the carpet and pipe up. Put some sugar on it and act humble. If the person you betrayed gets angry, take the tirade with style and make it known that you are taking off the cloak and dagger out of loyalty. In other words, grovel with dignity.

Be persistent
At first, you will probably be rebuffed by the person you let down. Even if someone says, "You're dead to me now," don't give up right away. If you grew up Catholic like everyone in my neighborhood did, you'll be feeling plenty guilty about your sins. Put that guilt to work by acting penitent. Don't let the last word be spoken in the heat of the moment. Go away for a while, and then come back once the initial anger has worn down -- the edge will be smoother a few days later. Look at all these cafone celebrities, for example. They make asses of themselves, then a week later, I see them smiling on the morning news while I'm trying to enjoy my coffee.
If you want to work in this town again, own up to your mistake…

Don't make excuses
This is especially important when the problem arose from something beyond your control. Most people have to gamble at times and operate in what my banker calls "the float." The float is when your account doesn't quite have the money you need just yet, but a check is in the mail, and you go ahead and make another deal as if you were solvent. You lie because business sometimes requires it.
The same thing happens with deliveries and timing. Let's say the bagman arrives much too late with the dough. In the interim, you have to cover the vacuum of missing money using your mouth. Promise confidently to fulfill your original promise. Deals fall through from time to time -- it's a part of life -- but when you have to tell someone that you lied, at least do it with clarity and dignity.

Learn from your mistakes
One reason Al Capone lasted as long as he did is that he surrounded himself with ironclad people who understood the meaning of omerta. If you are cast out to the east of your Eden, don't plunge into self-reflection; rather, learn from your mistake. Let your pride down for a moment so that the lesson gets tattooed in your brain.
Parents tell their kids to learn from others’ mistakes, not from their own. But anyone who has lived beyond the age of 40 can assure you of one thing: Mistakes will be made no matter what your intentions, just like history will repeat itself. Therefore, knowing that life will never be perfect, you should swallow the lesson of what it feels like to lose someone's trust and don't do it again.

Change your behavior
The person you betrayed has no compelling reason to believe your plea unless you show that you have changed. If the problem started because you weren’t paying attention to detail, then become a stickler. Perhaps you were spending more time chasing the girls around the maypole than working, so get back on the bricks every day until your feet hurt.
After a certain age, it becomes difficult to change, but a dire situation requires a new way of thinking. Plenty of guys have checked into Alcoholics Anonymous because they have lost trust. If booze or drugs are the stumbling blocks impeding your progress, figure out how to get out of that cycle.

Fix the process
Policies, traditions and routines are often flawed and prone to failure. If the system you are working in doesn't have the harmony of the planets, take measures to rectify the irregular parts of your business. Make suggestions to your boss about how to avoid having the same thing happen again. Sometimes it's only one trucker who is late; sometimes it's the whole trucking company. Cut the contract, trim the fat or do whatever you must to restore confidence in your end of the business. Rather than passing the buck and finding a cause for your misfortune, rethink the process so that it doesn't happen again.
Start climbing that ladder back up to the top…

Start climbing again
Keep your nose to the grindstone and your feet moving. Falling down a few ranks doesn't have to break your mind. A demotion is not the end of the world unless you want to roll over, but that's what goomahs are for. Wake up in the morning and start setting the world on fire -- but not like Frank Notarantonio did.

Get back up there
Regardless of how much remorse you feel or how willing you are to change, once people know about your temporary downfall, you will endure a period of sneers and jeers. So be it. In life, you might wash 10,000 windows, but people will only remember the one that you fell through. Self-doubt may eat at you, but if you work hard to prove yourself, the wisecracks will eventually stop. The betrayal will be forgotten by those knuckleheads, and the person you betrayed will begin to notice that you aren't such a deadbeat after all.

Courtesy of: Mr. Mafioso

10 Beauty Mistakes that Turn Him Off

Eyeliner Overload
"The raccoon-eye makeup look à la Taylor Momsen is a big turnoff for me. All that eye shadow and eyeliner makes it look like she doesn't know how to use makeup, like a little girl." - Lawrence, 22
Makeup Mishaps
"I don't like when I can see a girl's foundation at her neckline. It makes me wonder why she doesn't like the way her face looks naturally, and it's clear she wears a lot of makeup. Or at least it's clear that she can't blend her makeup into her neck so that it's not obvious." - Alex, 31
Read the whole Tips here: Shine.yahoo.com

7 Ways to Look Taller

Altitude has a lot to do with attitude, but the right clothes can really help.

1.) Select a monochromatic palette when choosing clothes. One color family from head to toe tricks the eye and brain into thinking "long and lean."
2.) Select pieces that won't break up your body into blocks. Women, choose a long lean dress, or no-waist pants and skirts; men, opt for thin belts the same color as your trousers.
3.) Go for well-tailored looks, princess seams and darts. A looser fit can often look wider.
4.) Pick vertical detailing: thin stripes, visible seams, interesting buttons and contrasting ties.
5.) Wear heels. The new square heels and stacked slides are more comfortable than stilettos ever were, so take advantage.
6.) Great posture is an easy way to add height, or the appearance of it.
7.) Lose weight if you're heavy. Slim will always look longer.

Tips & Warnings
* Today's simple colors and cuts are fashion-friendly for taller-wannabes. Knee-length skirts with similar-colored hose and shoes will help.
* Cuffless pants elongate the appearance.
* Hats, upswept hair, or anything that adds height will make you look taller.
* Lose the capri pants, calf-length skirts or anything that cuts your eye off at an odd or midlimb point.
* Avoid thick, wide belts or anything obviously horizontal, which will make you appear shorter.

Courtesy of eHow Fashion, Style & Personal Care Editor

How to Be Irresistible at Any Age

Do you want to be irresistible? It’s quite simple. All you have to do is to be true to your own true character, and express that character in living. But how do we do that? How do we access the gold of love and truth that is buried deep in every one of us? And what is it anyway, this authentic character that is our true wealth and the greatest gift, really, that we have to give to our world?

Here are some ways to express true character

1. Learn from nature.
If you want to be irresistible, what better place to start than studying nature? Nature doesn’t seem to find it hard to be irresistible. Whether nature is being a daffodil, a tree, a hurricane, or the roar in a lion’s throat, it simply IS irresistible.
One of the things I love most about nature is its patience. Consider, for example, how a young tree grows. It takes its time. It doesn’t just try to push itself out of the ground by brute force, it spirals its way out of the ground – gently, but very persistently. I can say, after 79 years of living on this planet, that quaint though it may sound, this approach really works. It can get you through a lot of difficult situations, too.

2. Be still.
“Silence,” says an ancient Native Indian tradition “is the cornerstone of true character.” We live in a culture that is very oriented to doing and achieving. Nothing wrong with that, of course. But if we want to deepen our connection with our own being, with our own true character, we must take some time every now and again to simply be still.
“Be still, and know that I am God,” said the Psalmist, and the words are the compass of my life.
The interesting thing is that sometimes, a few moments consciously “not doing” can actually increase our creativity and productivity no end. It can also help us in connecting more deeply with our own inner wisdom. History is full of tales of famous people who had their “breakthrough” moments when, strangely enough, they weren’t doing anything. In fact they may have given up on their project altogether.

3. Be persistent.
I recently created a course on the theme of “happy aging” that I’m offering at my blog on May 23 entitled “How to look (and feel) 10 years younger: The true promise and potential of aging.” I share my own experience that aging is nothing to fear, but can be a door to true meaning and happiness at any age. And I share how though our physical form ages, our unconquerable spirit never grows old.
I can tell you that finishing “The True Promise and Potential of Aging” over the last few months with serious help from Mary Jaksch of the A-List Blogger Club has been like giving birth.
It’s called for every ounce of persistence that is in me. Please don’t give up on any true and worthwhile endeavor in which you may be engaged. Don’t give up on a single one of your dreams or goals, if they are true dreams and true goals. We live in a benevolent universe and all you need is persistence and a little wisdom and your dreams will come true.

4. Value little moments as much as big ones.
When we are expressing true character we appreciate the little moments of life and care for them to the best of our ability just as much as we honor the “big” moments.
I used to marvel at how my mentor, Martin, would take so much care with cutting his lawn or fixing a broken toilet. Walking into a coffee shop, for example, or into a food market, listening to a stream or watching children at play – it’s all an opportunity to step back from our conditioned existence and celebrate the joy and spontaneity of life.

5. Love balance.
We live in a loving universe that relies on balance. If we would be true to our own true character we too must love balance and seek balance at all times. For example, it seems paradoxical, but only the strong can be gentle. And although I find great delight, especially as I get older, in sometimes simply sitting in a chair doing nothing, life demands action and creativity too.

6. Be interested in other people.
If you really want to be irresistible, be genuinely interested in what someone else is interested in. If you can find out what makes someone excited or happy – their eyes will glow and friendship will flow.

7. Be kind.
Be kind to yourself and others. Sometimes, caught up in some important task, we put undue pressure on ourselves or another. It’s important to be kind and gracious to everything and everyone we meet. It is not weak to be kind. It is a mark of true character — it reveals the love at the core of our being. [LINK]

True Love is Neither Physical, Nor Romantic

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am
I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him.
I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, to evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While doing so, I asked if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.
I inquired as to her health.
He told me that she had been there for awhile and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.
He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.
I was surprised, and asked, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."
True love is neither physical, nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance.of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

Oh, by the way, peace is seeing a sunset and knowing who to thank.
The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they.just make the best of everything they have.

I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did.
" Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."



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