The tradition of the New Year's Resolutions goes all the way back to 153 B.C. Janus, a mythical king of early Rome was placed at the head of the calendar.
With two faces, Janus could look back on past events and forward to the future. Janus became the ancient symbol for resolutions and many Romans looked for forgiveness from their enemies and also exchanged gifts before the beginning of each year.
The New Year has not always begun on January 1, and it doesn't begin on that date everywhere today. It begins on that date only for cultures that use a 365-day solar calendar. January 1 became the beginning of the New Year in 46 B.C., when Julius Caesar developed a calendar that would more accurately reflect the seasons than previous calendars had.
The Romans named the first month of the year after Janus, the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances. He was always depicted with two faces, one on the front of his head and one on the back. Thus he could look backward and forward at the same time. At midnight on December 31, the Romans imagined Janus looking back at the old year and forward to the new. The Romans began a tradition of exchanging gifts on New Year's Eve by giving one another branches from sacred trees for good fortune. Later, nuts or coins imprinted with the god Janus became more common New Year's gifts.
In the Middle Ages, Christians changed New Year's Day to December 25, the birth of Jesus. Then they changed it to March 25, a holiday called the Annunciation. In the sixteenth century, Pope Gregory XIII revised the Julian calendar, and the celebration of the New Year was returned to January 1.
The Julian and Gregorian calendars are solar calendars. Some cultures have lunar calendars, however. A year in a lunar calendar is less than 365 days because the months are based on the phases of the moon. The Chinese use a lunar calendar. Their new year begins at the time of the first full moon (over the Far East) after the sun enters Aquarius- sometime between January 19 and February 21.
Although the date for New Year's Day is not the same in every culture, it is always a time for celebration and for customs to ensure good luck in the coming year.
Ancient New Years
The celebration of the New Year is the oldest of all holidays. It was first observed in ancient Babylon about 4000 years ago. In the years around 2000 BC, Babylonians celebrated the beginning of a new year on what is now March 23, although they themselves had no written calendar.
Late March actually is a logical choice for the beginning of a new year. It is the time of year that spring begins and new crops are planted. January 1, on the other hand, has no astronomical nor agricultural significance. It is purely arbitrary.
The Babylonian New Year celebration lasted for eleven days. Each day had its own particular mode of celebration, but it is safe to say that modern New Year's Eve festivities pale in comparison.
The Romans continued to observe the New Year on March 25, but their calendar was continually tampered with by various emperors so that the calendar soon became out of synchronization with the sun.
In order to set the calendar right, the Roman senate, in 153 BC, declared January 1 to be the beginning of the New Year. But tampering continued until Julius Caesar, in 46 BC, established what has come to be known as the Julian Calendar.
It again established January 1 as the New Year. But in order to synchronize the calendar with the sun, Caesar had to let the previous year drag on for 445 days.
Now let me see your New Year Resolutions comment !
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1.It is your attitude at the beginning of a task more than anything else that will determine your success or failure.
2.It is your attitude towards life that will determine life's attitude towards you. Despite many people's belief to the contrary, life pays no favorites.
3.You control your attitude. If you are negative it is because you have decided to be negative and not because of other people or circumstances.
4.Act as if you have a good attitude. Remember actions trigger feelings just as feelings trigger actions.
5.Before a person can achieve the kind of results he wants, he must first become that person. He must then think, walk, talk, act and conduct himself in all of his affairs, as would the person he wishes to become.
6.Treat everybody as the most important person in the world.
7.Attitudes are based on assumptions. In order to change attitudes one must first change one's assumptions.
8.Develop the attitude that there are more reasons why you should succeed than reasons why you should fail.
9.When you are faced with a problem, adopt the attitude that you can and will solve it.
10.We become what we think about. Control your thoughts and you will control your life.
11.Radiate the attitude of confidence, of well being, of a person who knows where he is going. You will then find good things happening to you right away.
12.In order to develop a good attitude, take charge first thing in the morning.
Do you say, "Good morning, GOD" or "Good GOD, morning?"
Read these twelve points every day for the next thirty days and see how your life changes.
ATTITUDES ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTS..
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Failing
Life lived without experiencing failure is a year gone by without the winter season. Failure is a man’s best friend and man’s worst enemy.
Success is only meaningful if it has been achieved after endeavouring failure.
Failure is not a loss but a door opened for man to gain knowledge and experience. No great man in history ever succeeded without failing!
We consider the failure to be an end however it is a start. It is a new start to achieve the topmost pinnacle of success. Failure comes our way to teach us how to get up and join the race of life again.
Without failure life would be boring and predictable. Failure makes life unpredictable and adventurous. Failing is not the loss of hope but the generation of new hope which is stronger than it predecessor.
If the world failure is to be eradicated from the face of the earth it would lead to the eradication of success because success is only possible in the when failure is defeated.
Failure is our loyal companion from our birth to our gravestone. Death is also the failure of our will to live on.
When a child is learning how to walk he fails innumerable times and falls on his knees but the child never loses hope and tries till success comes his way. So as children when we do not accept failure why accept is when we grow.
A child is not as powerful in the physical sense as an adult but yet it has a strong will to defeat failure so where does this will get lost when we grow up to be physically strong adults? Defeat becomes real when we accept it!
When a child does not lose to failure why is failing such a tragic incident in adult life? Failure should be accepted and we should work to turn it into the fruit of success.
Failure is the blue print of success. Work hard and change it to reality.
Success is within the grasp of every human being who walks this earth.
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What do you do when you have a headache this big? Before reaching for a pill that dulls the pain without addressing the problem, look to the cause. The causes of headaches are many, but the root cause can almost always be traced back to lifestyle. Read on to find out how to stop a headache in its tracks!
Common Causes of Headaches
Something in your life is creating an adverse environment that causes a headache. For instance, most people are familiar with the occasional headache that comes from a cold, staying up too late, or drinking too much.
Other common culprits include sinus problems, muscle tension, eyestrain, stress, jaw clenching, a virus, allergies, poor eating habits, and a muscle injury in the neck and back. Some women may experience headaches due to a hormonal imbalance.
The Food Factor
What we eat on a regular basis affects the energy flow in our body. Proper eating habits can help maintain a good flow of energy and blood to the head, preventing headaches. Eat frequent smaller meals and choose wholesome foods, with no preservatives, additives, or artificial compounds.
For headache relief, eat more: whole grains, fiber-rich foods, green leafy vegetables,
parsley, chrysanthemum flowers, mint, green tea, onions, ginger, pearl barley, carrots, prunes, buckwheat, peach kernels, and almonds.
Stay away from: alcohol, chocolate, MSG, nitrates, sulfites, sugar, salt, caffeine, and oily, greasy, or fried foods. Consider that caffeine, because it affects your blood vessels, can provide instant relief from a migraine headache.
But be cautioned that regular use will make you dependent, meaning when you don't have it, the withdrawal will give you a painful headache! Do not eat late at night, while on the run, or under stress. Spicy, stimulating foods, and heavy starchy foods should also be avoided.
Remedies for Relief
Here are some remedies and suggestions to help you tame the pain:
• Make fresh carrot juice. Drink a glass of carrot juice every 4 hours until your headache subsides.
• Prepare a compress. Put 5 drops of lavender essential oil in 1 cup of warm water. Soak a towel in the water and then wring it dry. Place it on your forehead and/or upper neck as a compress during a headache.
• Try making this herbal tea: Boil 2 tablespoons each of chrysanthemum flowers, cassia seeds, and mint in 4 cups of water for 15 minutes. Drink 3 cups a day until the headache subsides. These herbs will help clear the sinuses and reduce head pressure. Other herbs that may prevent or temporarily relieve headaches include feverfew, peppermint, wintergreen, chamomile, and passionflower.
• Regularly stretch your neck and back muscles and pay attention to proper posture and ergonomic positioning during work and play to avoid tension headaches.
• Nip your headache in the bud before it starts with a gentle walk. Taking a walk in fresh air will help stimulate blood flow and increase the flow of oxygen to the head. So when you feel a headache coming on, step outdoors and go for a 10-minute walk, breathing deeply and vigorously.
• Headaches can typically be prevented by relaxation and stress-releasing techniques like meditation and tai chi. Practice these daily to maintain a healthy lifestyle, free from headaches. And please note that vigorous exercise during a headache episode is not recommended because it can worsen the condition.
Take note:
When you experience severe, debilitating headaches that don't respond to over the counter medication, or wake up in the middle of the night with excruciating head pain, visit your physician or the emergency room immediately.
I hope this article finds you free from future headaches! May you live long, live strong, and live happy!
--Dr. Mao www.askdrmao.com
1. Be true to your values and principlesKnow who you are below the surface and be true to your authentic self. Don't hold back. Don't compromise what you know is right. Be diligent and disciplined. Even when no one's looking, don't fudge.2. Stand up for yourself and for othersSpeak out. Reach out. Step up. As Gandhi said, be the change you wish to see in the world. Be your own best champion. Champion others. Take everyday stands for justice.3. Make choices, lots of them, and be responsibleDon't wait for someone else to step in. Take charge yourself. Act. Make fundamental choices, be responsible for them, and swear off blame.4. Harness your fearsDon't be afraid to be afraid. Look at your fear head on, what is ittelling you? Where does it come from? What's the worst case? How canyou use fear rather than being used by it? Turn it into an ally.5. Express yourself, give voice to your full-bodied selfClaim your emotions, both "positive" and "negative," withoutjudgment. Use them as fuel.6. Be willing to change and know what will stop youBecome familiar with your negative ego, your inner critics, the partof you that objects to your becoming more, that will sabotage whatyou're doing. Where will that lead you? What will you get out ofpretending to be small? Go looking for that part of you, so that youcan anticipate what might stop you and be proactive.7. Embrace your imperfectionsMistakes and defeats are bound to happen, and it's okay. Be curiousabout them, grab hold of them. They present you with wonderfulopportunities to learn about yourself. Don't let those opportunitiesslip by. Don't dilute them with judgments about yourself. Instead,what can you learn?8. Be nervousRegularly, do something that makes you nervous, that stretches youinto more of who you truly are and can be. Don't wait to be on yourA-Game.9. Pursue deep challenges, be restlessDon't dabble. Too much of life awaits. Engage your lifepassionately.10. Connect with something greater than yourself, the divineForge your courage in service.Make a differenceMake your life matterLaugh often and have fun
By Katherine Martin
A little boy asked his mother "Why are you crying?""Because I'm a woman", she told him. "I don't understand", he said. His mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason", was all his dad could say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God; and when God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?" God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world; yet, gentle enough to give comfort." " I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children." "I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining." "I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly." "I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart." "I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly." "And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed." "You see: The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair." "The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."
By Butch Jimenez
This speech was delivered during the commencement exercises of the University of the Philippines ( UP ) graduating class of 2003 by Mr. Butch Jimenez, the youngest commencement speaker in the university's history. He once dreamed of doing so, and it came true!!!
Students wished they had a pencil or paper to jot down notes during the speech; some even wished they had a taperecorder.
Some members of the faculty found his speech practical, refreshing, and funny!
Butch Jimenez, head of PLDT's media and strategic communications department, delivered this speech at the UP Diliman Class 2003 commencement exercises.
......Better than being negative
AS college students, you're just about to set sail into the real world. As you prepare for the battleground of life, you'll hear many speeches, read tons of books and get miles of advice telling you to work hard, dream big, go out and do something for yourself, and have a vision. Not bad advice, really. In fact, following these nuggets of truth may just bring you to the top. But as I've lived my life over the years, I have come to realize that it is great to dream big, have a vision, make a name, and work hard. But guess what: There's something better than that.
So my message today simply asks the question, What's better than...?
Let's start off with something really simple. What's better than a long speech? No doubt, a short one. So, you guys are in luck because I do intend to keep this short.
Now, let me take you through a very simple math exam.I'll rattle off a couple of equations, and you tell me what you observe about them. Be mindful of the instructions. You are to tell me what you observe about the equations. Here goes: 3+4=7, 9+2=11, 8+4=13,and 6+6=12. Tell me, what do you observe?
Every time I conduct this test, more than 90 percent of the participants immediately say, 8+4 is NOT 13, it's 12! That's true and they are correct. But they could have also observed that the three other equations were right. That 3+4 is 7, that 9+2 is 11, and that 6+6 is 12. What's my point?
Many people immediately focus on the negative instead of the positive. Most of us focus on what's wrong with other people more than what's right about them. Examine those four equations. Three were right and only one was wrong. But what is the knee-jerk observation? The wrong equation.
If 10 people you didn't know were to walk through that door, most of you would describe those people by what's negative about them. He's fat. He's balding. Oh, the short one. Oh, the skinny girl. Get the point? It's always the negative we focus on and not the positive. You'll definitely experience this in the corporate world. You do a hundred good things and one mistake-guess what? Chances are, your attention will be called on that one mistake.
So what's better than focusing on the negative?
Believe me, its focusing on the positive. And if this world could learn to focus on the positive more than the negative, it would be a much nicer place to live in.
......Better than working hard
We have always been told to work hard. Our parents say that, our teachers say that, and our principal says that. But there's something better than merely working hard.
It's working SMART. It's taking time to understand the situation, and coming out with an effective and efficient solution to get more done with less time and effort.
As the Japanese say, "There's always a better way."
One of the most memorable case studies I came across with as I studied Japanese management at Sophia University in Tokyo was the case of the empty soap box, which happened in one of Japan's biggest cosmetics companies.
The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a box of soap that was empty. It immediately isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department.
For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty. Management tasked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty.
No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast. But a rank-and-file employee that was posed the same problem came out with another solution.
He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.
Clearly, the engineers worked hard, but the rank-and-file employee worked smart. So what's better than merely working hard? It's working smart. Having said that, it is still important to work hard. If you could combine both working hard and working smart, you would possess a major factor toward success.
.....Better than dreaming big
I will bet my next month's salary that many have encouraged you to dream big. Maybe even to reach for the stars and aim high. I sure heard that about a million times right before I graduated from this university.
So I did. I did dream big. I did aim high. I did reach for the stars. No doubt, it works. In fact, the saying is true: "If you aim for nothing, that's exactly what you'll hit: nothing."
But there's something better than dreaming big. Believe me, I got shocked myself. And I learned it from the biggest dreamer of all time, Walt Disney. When it comes to dreaming big, Walt is the man.
No bigger dreams were fulfilled than his. Every leadership book describes him as the ultimate dreamer.
In fact, the principle of dreaming and achieving is the core message of the Disney hit song, "When You Wish Upon a Star". "When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are; anything your heart desires will come to you.
If your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme. When you wish upon a star,as dreamers do," as Jiminy Cricket sang. But is that what he preached in the Disney company? Dream?
.....Imagineering
Well, not exactly. Kinda, but not quite. The problem with dreaming is if that's all you do, you'll really get nowhere. In fact, you may just fall asleep and never wake up.
The secret to Disney's success is not just dreaming, it's IMAGINEERING. You won't find this word in a dictionary. It's purely a Disney word.
Those who engage in imagineering are called imagineers. The word combines the words "imagination" and "engineering."
In the book "Imagineers," Disney's CEO, Michael Eisner,claims that "imagineers turn impossible dreams into real magic." Walt Disney explained there is really no secret to their approach.
They just keep moving forward-opening new doors and doing new things, because they are curious. And it is this curiosity that leads them down new paths. They always dream, explore and experiment.
In short, imagineering is the blending of creative imagination and technical know-how. Eisner expounds on this thought by saying that "Not only are imaginerrs curious, they are courageous, outrageous, and their creativity is contagious." The big difference with imagineers is that they dream and then they DO! So don't just be a dreamer, be an imagineer.
You must have all been given a lecture at one time or another about the importance of having a vision. Even leadership expert John Maxwell says that an indispensable quality of a leader is to have a vision.
The Bible also makes it very clear that "Without vision, people perish." So no doubt about it, having a vision is important to success.
But surprise! There's something more potent than a vision. It's a CAUSE. If all you're doing is trying to reach your vision and you're pitted against someone fighting for a cause, chances are you'll lose.
The Vietnam War is a classic example. Literally with sticks and stones, the Viet Cong beat the heavily armed US Army to surrender, primarily because the US had a vision to win the war, but the Vietnamese were fighting for a cause. In the realm of business, many leaders have visions of making their company No.1, or grabbing market share, or forever increasing profits.
Nothing really wrong with that vision, but take the example of Sony founder Akio Morita. He did not just have a vision to build the biggest electronics company in the world. In his biography, "Made in Japan," he reveals that the real reason he set up Sony was to help rebuild his country, which had just been battered by war.
He had a cause he was fighting or. His vision to be an electronics giant was secondary.
What's the difference between a vision and a cause?
Here's what sets them apart... No one is willing to die for a vision.
People will die for a cause. You possess a vision. A cause possesses you. A vision lies in your hands. A cause lies in your heart. A vision involves sacrifice. A cause involves the ultimate sacrifice. Just a word of caution.
You must have the right vision, and you must be fighting for the right cause. In the end, right will always win out. It may take time, and it may take long. But if you have the right vision and are fighting for the right cause, you will prevail. If not, no matter how sincere you are, if you are not fighting for what is right, you will ultimately fail.
Two final quotes
Allow me to end with two quotes that I have lived by ever since I stepped out of UP. The first comes from the Bible, which says, "To whom much is given, much is required."
Having been given the opportunity to study in UP, no doubt, much has been given to you in terms of an excellent education.
Don't forget that in return, much is now required of you to use that education not just for yourself, but for others. And as you move up and start reaching the pinnacle of success, even more will be required of you to look at the welfare of others, of society and of the country.
Though I have often dreamed of addressing any graduating class of UP Diliman, I never really thought it would happen. This brings me to the second quote I have held close to my heart as I traverse the destiny God has laid out for me.
"There is no destination beyond reach of one who walks with God." My standing in front of you today, as the youngest commencement speaker of this esteemed university in 92 years, is proof of how true that quote is.
A final review:
What's better than focusing on the negative? Focus on the positive.
What's better than working hard? It's working smart.
What's better than dreaming? Imagineering.
What's better than doing something for yourself? Doing something for your country.
What's better than a vision? A cause.
What's better than a long speech? Definitely, a short one.
Thank you and congratulations, UP Diliman graduating class of 2003 "Excellence is not a destination; it is a continuous journey that never ends."
Have you ever witnessed someone eating one of those fast food meals with a triple-burger sandwich, an extra-large order of French fries, and an even larger serving of soda and reflected - either to yourself or out loud - on how you could "hear their arteries clogging?"
Of course you have. In fact, you might have even heard your own arteries clogging as you consumed a meal filled with animal fat, simple sugars, and processed foods. Both Western and Chinese medicine alike recognize the importance of diet when battling high cholesterol, and eating improper foods such as these can trigger the digestive system to build up the amount of low-density lipoproteins (LDL) - which are also known as bad cholesterol - in the blood. This can then lead to life-threatening illnesses such as heart attacks, strokes, and, of course, clogged and hardened arteries.
Cholesterol, however, is a tricky condition. A person with high amounts of LDL cholesterol in their blood may have inherited the condition from a genetic predisposition, and it may not seem like changing the diet can't in any way help. Happily for your health, this isn't true, and I have had tremendous success treating patients with very high cholesterol that simply needed a change to their diet and lifestyle to improve their health. Keep in mind that this change in diet does not have to be an all-or-nothing overhaul of deprivation and starvation. If you have high cholesterol, start simple!
Try incorporating the following five foods into your diet. High in fiber and low in cholesterol, they will not only help to lower your LDL cholesterol levels, but also benefit your body's health in general.
1. Apples: A study was conducted in Finland to determine whether or not eating apples can lower cholesterol. The results of this study determined that eating three apples a day for three months can help you drop your cholesterol level by twenty points. This is a result of apple's high amount of pectin, which is a source of dietary fiber that will draw LDL out of your system. Also, quercetin, an antioxidant, helps to inhibit the amount of LDL in the bloodstream. As autumn is a time for apples, be sure to take advantage of all of the tasty varieties that the season offers.
2. Spinach: Spinach, along with other green leafy vegetables, contains
a carotenoid known as lutein. Lutein has been associated with the prevented buildup of cholesterol in the blood. With a little help from one or two helpings of fresh spinach, you'll be on your way to low cholesterol levels in no time!
3. Oats: There are few things as satisfying as a warm bowl of oatmeal in the morning. Whole grain oats, like whole wheat, are a high-fiber grain. While whole wheat is helpful in lowering cholesterol, oats contain more soluble fiber and therefore are more likely to reduce the levels of LDL cholesterol in your system. When eating foods containing oats, however, be sure to always eat whole grain oats, because the oats found in processed foods like granola bars often don't contain soluble fiber.
4. Homemade orange marmalade: Who would guess that this delicious fruity spread would also be good for lowering LDL cholesterol? Orange marmalade includes orange rind - which contains compounds known as polymethoxylated flavones (PMFs). PMFs are found in the pigment of orange peel and are responsible for cholesterol-lowering actions, yet don't reduce the level of good cholesterol. You can use orange rind in your cooking, as well.
5. Green tea: Green tea is beneficial for many conditions and ailments, and high levels of LDL cholesterol is no exception. Drink one cup of green tea daily and you may find that your high LDL cholesterol levels will say their final farewell.
Lowering your cholesterol starts with the foods you eat - and the foods you choose not to eat. Be sure to eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Eating the right foods can help you on the way to a long, healthy life. As always, talk to your physician before beginning a new health regime.
I hope you will take these tips and lower your cholesterol levels. I invite you to visit often and share your own personal health and longevity tips with me. To learn about more safe and natural ways to lower your cholesterol, look in my book Secrets of Self-Healing. Click here to find more information.
by : Dr. Mao
www.askdrmao.com.
1. FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN GIVE TO A FRIEND, NOT WHAT YOU CAN GET OUT OF A FRIENDSHIP.
- If being happy is your only motive for wanting someone to be your friend, then you are not being a real friend. Don't get caught up in keeping tabs on who has given most in the friendship. Give to your friends regardless of how much they give to you.
2. ENCOURAGE YOUR FRIEND.
- Real friends inspire and push each other to be the best that they can be, rather than drag each other down. They are happy when other people achieve their goals.
3. BE WILLING TO FORGIVE.
- Don't let hurt turn to grudge. This is one sure way to destroy a friendship. Forgive your friend and move on.
4. TACTFULLY POINT OUT THEIR MISTAKES.
- This is one way to show concern for others. If you really care, you will tactfully point out a specific example for his own good. But once you've brought the problem to your friend's attention, don't harp on it all the time. Don't walk away from a friendship when you see some of your friend's faults. Be patient with a friend as he or she tries to change. Realize that nobody is perfect.
5. BE RELIABLE.
- When you say you are going to be there, be there.
6. DON'T TRY TO CONTROL YOUR FRIENDS.
- Real friendship does not mean you always have to be together. It may be tempting to have a fun person all to yourself, and feel threatened when your friend spends time with others. If you are afraid to let your friends out of your sight, you are probably afraid of losing them. Good friendship will endure time spent apart. You and your friends may learn to appreciate each other even more.
7. BE THERE FOR THE GOOD AND THE BAD TIMES.
- Celebrate with them if your friends are excited about something. But don't be there just for the good times. When your friend is upset about something, give them your full attention. Most of the time, what friends really need is a sympathetic ear, someone who understand their feelings.
8. LEARN TO ACCEPT PERSONALITY DIFFERENCES IN YOUR FRIENDS.
- Be careful not to evaluate other people by how you react in a particular situation. Do not automatically take your friends' behaviour personally.
9. DON'T BE A BLABBERMOUTH.
- Learn and be willing to keep each other's secrets.
10.DON'T LET ARGUMENTS DESTROY YOUR FRIENDSHIP.
- Suppose you're having a discussion with a friend and after you've said what you think is true, they still disagree. Don't keep arguing until you get mad with each other. Just drop it. Your desire to win the argument may ruin your friendship.
Always Keep Smiling !
The father of a teenager usually tries to teach him life skills in an attempt to prepare him for the proverbial 'Big-bad world'.
One such father was on a business tour to a foreign country. He had taken his fourteen year old son with him. They were staying at a small hotel. They went out in the day. They were walking on a busy road.
Suddenly the boy realized that the father was no where around. He looked around for him desperately, but to no avail. The boy looked in the restrooms; the shops; the restaurants and the corridors. But no where could he find his father.
The boy was scared. He felt tears brimming in his eyes, but he fought them back. He walked the street up and down several times but could not find his father.
As the sun began to set, the boy decided that the best thing he could do was to make his way back to the hotel. He rummaged through his pockets, only to find that he did not have enough money to pay for his fare back to the hotel.
Anyways, he did not even know the way back. So, he tactfully asked the traffic policeman to guide him on how to get there, without letting him know his actual predicament.
He took a bus to a place that was half way to the hotel, for that was the farthest he could pay for. The other half, he walked. He read the directions from the site maps on the way. Many times he had to ask for directions from strangers.
It was late in the night when he finally trudged into the hotel tired, hungry and weary. He marched up the stairs to their room, hoping to find father inside, but he was disappointed. He sat down and thought, 'What next? What should I do? How will I find him in this alien land, with no money in my pocket?'
Just then he heard the key turn in the door and father walked in! "Dad, Where were you? I've been looking for you all over? Why did you leave me alone and go away?" The father eased himself out of his shoes and stretched himself onto the bed, "I was only a few steps away from you, all the time!" "What do you mean?" asked the boy incredulously.
I wanted to see, if you could fend for yourself. I was testing you to see whether you could find your way back to me."
"Oh! Really? Then why did you follow me all the time?"
"I had to be sure you were safe. I must say, you did rather well. I'm quite proud of you!"
Years passed. The boy grew up to be a man and the father became old. One quiet evening, the old man sat in the garden, looking at the sunset.
He was talking to God, "Lord, I am old now. I've gone through so many ups and downs in life. Do you even know what I have been through?
As I sit in this armchair in the twilight of my life, I wonder what life is all about. I wonder why you created me and then left me alone in this world to fend for my self. Why do you not guide me? Why don't you talk to me sometimes?"
Then God replied, "Do you remember the day, you decided to test your son?"
"Yes."
"Did you let him out of your sight, even for a moment?"
"No."
"Neither did I! If only you had looked around carefully, you would have seen me. I too expect you to find your way home.
Your son did well; he found his way back to his father! I too expect you to find your way back to your eternal father; to your eternal home!
Come my child, I am waiting for you to find your way back to me because you belong to me."
Low self-esteem and lack of confidence can hold us back from achieving many things. It can also be detrimental to our physical and emotional well-being.
The level of our self-esteem has profound consequences on every aspect of our existence – how we operate in our workplace, how we deal with people, how high we are likely to rise and how much we are likely to achieve.
The reasons of low self-esteem often begins during childhood. Even the most confident of adolescents can grow up to experience low self-esteem and start to feel unworthy. Adult life can be tough and it can sometimes feel like the ‘survival of the fittest’ and we’re all, at some point, going to bump into people who will try to belittle us.
Low self-esteem is best described as having a low opinion of oneself (either consciously or subconsciously), and feelings of being ‘worthless’. Yet the subject has not received the kind of attention that it deserves. Unless our self-esteem plummets to the extent that we can no longer handle our lives effectively.
Characteristics of low self-esteem:
1. General lack of participation
2. Negative responses to questions
3. Sluggish physical behaviour
4. Excessive use of activities for escapism (TV, videos, internet, reading). Be careful of over-analysing here as this alone is not an indicator
5. Aggressive or argumentative behaviour
6. Indecisiveness
7. Unwillingness to try anything new (anything from new food through to goal setting)
8. Inability to say no (need to be liked/loved by others by saying yes)
9. Need to prove self-worth and ‘status’ by boasting, making public claims about capabilities (whether true or false)
10. Low self-esteem has been correlated with low life satisfaction, loneliness, anxiety, resentment, irritability and depression
How to improve your self-esteem and boost your confidence:
1) Accept Yourself
Firstly, you need to become more accepting of yourself and realise that nobody is perfect and that we all make mistakes from time to time and that this is natural and perfectly acceptable.
2) Recognise your talents
Another method of boosting self-confidence is to recognise talents, abilities and good qualities. Constantly remind ourselves of these and to give ourselves a pat on the back whenever we are able to utilise those abilities and qualities for the benefit of ourselves and others.
3) Embrace challenges
Never shy away from risks. You can end up stifling your own personal development and become more afraid to take risks if you perpetually do the same thing over and over again because it’s something you know that works. Life is an evolutionary process and things change all the time. For you to become confident, it’s crucial that you try out new experiences and embrace challenges and risks and see them as an opportunity for growth as opposed to something to be frightened of.
4) Never compare
Don’t judge yourself by competing with others. Everyone’s different. Some of us can jump higher than others, some of us can spell better but it’s important that we only aspire to do and to be the best that we can and not to compare ourselves with the achievements of others.
5) Consult a physician
If the above techniques do not seem to work, then see a counsellor or a physician who can guide on further treatment. Low self-esteem if untreated can lead to psychological problems too.
by: Dr Yatri Thacker,
homeopathy physician and stress counsellor
1. The story began when I was a child;
I was born as a son of a poor family.
Even for eating, we often got lack of food.
Whenever the time for eating, mother often gave me her portion of rice.
While she was removing her rice into my bowl,
she would say "Eat this rice, son. I'm not hungry".
That was Mother's First Lie
2. When I was getting to grow up,
the persevering mother gave her spare time for fishing in a river near our house,
she hoped that from the fishes she got,
she could gave me a little bit nutritious food for my growth.
After fishing, she would cook the fishes to be a fresh fish soup,
which raised my appetite. While I was eating the soup,
mother would sit beside me and eat the rest meat of fish,
which was still on the bone of the fish I ate.
My heart was touched when I saw it.
I then used my chopstick and gave the other fish to her.
But she immediately refused it and said "Eat this fish, son.
I don't really like fish."
That was Mother's Second Lie.
3. Then, when I was in Junior High School,
to fund my study,
mother went to an economic enterprise to bring some used-matches boxes that would be stuck in.
It gave her some money for covering our needs.
As the winter came,
I woke up from my sleep and looked at my mother who was still awoke,
supported by a little candlelight and within her perseverance she continued
the work of sticking some used-matches box.
I said, "Mother, go to sleep, it's late,
tomorrow morning you still have to go for work.
" Mother smiled and said "Go to sleep,
dear. I'm not tired."
That was Mother's Third Lie.
4. At the time of final term,
mother asked for a leave from her work in order to accompany me.
While the daytime was coming and the heat of the sun was starting to shine,
the strong and persevering mother
waited for me under the heat of the sun's shine for several hours.
As the bell rang, which indicated that the final exam had finished,
mother immediately welcomed me and poured me a glass of tea
that she had prepared before in a cold bottle.
The very thick tea was not as thick as my mother's love,
which was much thicker. Seeing my mother covering with perspiration,
I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too.
Mother said "Drink, son. I'm not thirsty!".
That was Mother's Fourth Lie.
5. After the death of my father because of illness,
my poor mother had to play her role as a single parent.
By held on her former job, she had to fund our needs alone.
Our family's life was more complicated. No days without sufferance.
Seeing our family's condition that was getting worse,
there was a nice uncle who lived near my house came to help us,
either in a big problem and a small problem.
Our other neighbors who lived next to us saw that our family's life was so unfortunate,
they often advised my mother to marry again. But mother,
who was stubborn, didn't care to their advice,
she said "I don't need love."
That was Mother's Fifth Lie.
6. After I had finished my study and then got a job,
it was the time for my old mother to retire.
But she didn't want to; she was sincere to go to the marketplace every morning,
just to sell some vegetable for fulfilling her needs.
I, who worked in the other city, often sent her some money to help her in fulfilling her needs,
but she was stubborn for not accepting the money.
She even sent the money back to me.
She said "I have enough money."
That was Mother's Sixth Lie.
7. After graduated from Bachelor Degree,
I then continued my study to Master Degree.
I took the degree, which was funded by a company through a scholarship program,
from a famous University in America .
I finally worked in the company. Within a quite high salary,
I intended to take my mother to enjoy her life in America .
But my lovely mother didn't want to bother her son,
she said to me "I'm not used to."
That was Mother's Seventh Lie.
8. After entering her old age,
mother got a flank cancer and had to be hospitalized.
I, who lived in miles away and across the ocean,
directly went home to visit my dearest mother.
She lied down in weakness on her bed after having an operation.
Mother, who looked so old, was staring at me in deep yearn.
She tried to spread her smile on her face;
even it looked so stiff because of the disease she held out.
It was clear enough to see how the disease broke my mother's body,
thus she looked so weak and thin.
I stared at my mother within tears flowing on my face.
My heart was hurt, so hurt, seeing my mother on that condition.
But mother, with her strength, said "Don't cry, my dear.
I'm not in pain."
That was Mother's Eight Lie.
After saying her eighth lie, She closed her eyes forever!
In general, men are looking first for physical attraction at a woman. Many of them consider that if she is beautiful and well dressed, its the perfect partner they are looking for. But they don't know that behind this appearance its hiding something worst.
Maybe this happened to you too. After you began a relationship with her you found out that she is not exactly what you want and what you expect. She hurt you and dumped you when you last expected. Many men are chasing after a woman who lied them and used them. But, in order to stop this, you should know from the beginning which types of girls you should avoid for to not be hurt again.
Desperate girl
-it is the type of the girl who spend all her life laid out, looking for a perfect life, and suddenly she discover that she gets old and she doesn't get married yet because she hasn't met the perfect man for her
-she wants desperately to get married no matter who the guy is or what he does
-she is pressed by the time and is ready to marry with a jerk as long as he has marriage material
-watch out because if you marry one of this, you have to spend the rest of your life with her
Materialistic girl
-usually is good looking and well dressed
-is looking very well outside but inside it is a bunch of money hungry taker
-she is looking all the time after boys which are staying very well with their wallet
-she expects that a man should finance her entire life just because she is biologically female
-she is very friendly, nice at the beginning but after some time you'll see that no matter how much you give her, she wants more
-she is greed personified
-she is interested only in what she wants and not others feelings
-stay away from this kind of girl because she will dumped you after she spend all your money
Angry girl
-she is the type of the girl which sees life like a battle
-anything what is happening or is told to her is seen as a insult at her address
-has also a bad opinion about man, sees only the wrong sides of a man
-she is always upset and angry
-usually she likes to take out of context everything what is said to her and to interpret the words like she wants
-you don't have any future with her, she has a simmering anger at men which can explode at any moment
Insecure girl
-she is very nice and treats men very well
-but she suffers by frustration
-is wracked by anxiety about making the wrong decision
-she has to think twice about what to do, what to wear, where to go, what to eat
-she needs constant reassurance that she's attractive and worries incessantly
Stupid girl
-this type of girl likes to speak a lot but she doesn't say nothing smart
-she likes to say always gossips about the others, but when you want to talk something important with her, she is not able to make conversation
Uptown girl
-she is very rich
-everything she has is better than yours and she wants to make sure that you know it
-she only dates the best of best
-is entirely focused on herself
-she is very selfish, self-indulgent grown up as '' daddy's little girl''
-needs to be constant center of attention no matter what she does or where she goes
Childish girl
-everything in life hurts this kind of girl
-is the type of girl who cries a lot, every innocent comment or criticism will upset her
-avoid this kind of girl because if you are dating one you will have to spend all the time apologizing even if you didn't make any mistake
-avoid also long term relationship with her because she is capable of suicide if you want to leave her and all the blame will be thrown on yourself
Elusive girl
-is the type of girl who is afraid to start a relationship
-she might be hurt in a past relationship and so subconsciously avoids or sabotages new relationships in the present
-she look interested at the beginning but after a while she runs away
-is the type of girl who likes to send mixed messages so you'll never understand her
Talking girl
-it is a big difference between somebody who is able to make good conversation and have sense of humor , and somebody who always have to make a comment about everything
-it is the type which is very hard to please and always has to say something about everything is happening or speaking around her
Romantic girl
-this lives in her own world, of movies and romance novels
-she is very dreamy, imagining things, expecting Prince Charming to come after her
-she doesn't know how the real world is
-she was grown with the idea that she is a princess
Dragger girl
-this kind of girl will always make you feel bad even there is no reason to feel that
-it is always worrying and she can never be happy, everything around her is a total drag
-even if a wonderful thing happen to you, she will make you feel like it was the worst thing that could happen ever
Controlling girl
-she likes to have the total control in your relationship and on you too
-wants to control you in everything you do, you wear or eat
-if you try to control her too, she will get angry, cry, scream or use any deceptive female tactic until you give up
Flirting girl
-she flirts with anybody and flaunt her sexuality at every opportunity
-has a big power of attraction
-exist the risk to dump you in any moment if somebody better comes along
With all these types of girls you should avoid, it is now more easy for you to make a good choice about your next girlfriend; but remember that not all the women are the same, maybe there is somewhere a good, carrying woman just for you.
Note: I'm sure none of my friends here are like this exactly, but a little bit maybe ... Lol...
