Cautions about Early Marriage

It seems strange that anyone would need to offer cautions about early marriage these days, since statistically it seems that most people are actually putting off marriage until they are in their late thirties or even older than that. But there are still those who want to be married at a very young age and unfortunately many turn a blind eye to the unique problems they'll be facing if they go through with such an early marriage. If this sounds like you, what are some things you need to think about and consider before getting into such an arrangement?

First off, keep in mind that many young people have a hard time making a living when they lack employment history. Someone in their very early twenties may have a degree but because of a lack of experience, have a harder time finding a job than others. Financial problems are very common for those who opt for early marriage. Also, many young people lack experience in handling the money they have, and in planning their budget and sticking to it. It's hard enough for mature adults to put money away in savings much less for younger people to control their impulse spending! And many who get into an early marriage have really no idea how much it actually costs to rent an apartment or buy a home, and of all the smaller expenses that go with living outside their parent's house. Utilities, groceries, gas and insurance for the car, health care costs, all of these things add up pretty quick and take quite a toll on the young person's financial situation. Many an early marriage has ended simply because the couple couldn't afford all those responsibilities thrust upon them.

There are also other responsibilities in marriage that many young people are unprepared to handle, and often don't even expect. Most are accustomed to the life of a single person where you go wherever you want to go, whenever you want to, without a care or thought in the world. However, even early marriage means having to consider that other person in your plans and your actions. Failing to call when you're out late or wanting to go out with friends when your spouse wants you at home can cause a lot of arguments between people, especially those who don't know how to handle these types of situations. Those in an early marriage are often surprised at the number of demands put upon them by their spouse and by how quickly an argument can erupt over even minor or small things.

Anyone considering an early marriage would do well to really think seriously about what they're getting into. Marriage between two mature adults is difficult enough, as the statistics on divorce will prove, but an early marriage brings about special conflicts and problems as well. If you want to have a long and successful marriage, you need to consider what problems you and your potential spouse might face, and do so before you actually take those vows.

By: layran

marriage101.org

13 Small Things to Simplify your Workday !

“Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” ~Lao Tzu

Start early. Going into work early was one of my favorite tricks — it was quiet, before the phones and chatter and meetings started, and I could get a lot of work done in peace. By the time everyone else was getting started, I’d gotten two or three big tasks checked off.

Limit your hours. It’s ironic, because so many people work long hours and think they’re getting more done and being more productive. But they’re throwing brute hours at the problem. Instead, cut back on your hours and set a limit — say 6 or 7 hours a day — and get your most essential work done within that limit. If you know you’re only working 6 hours today, you’ll be sure to get the important tasks done first and waste less time. Limits force you to be effective.

Make a short list. Make a long list of all the tasks you need to do … then make a short list of 1-3 things you really want to get done. Choose so that, if you got only these tasks done, you’d be proud of what you did today. Start with the most important task, before checking email or reading online.

Batch distractions. What are your common distractions? Perhaps things like email, reading blogs, Twitter or another social network? Set a time for these, preferably later in the day: say, from 3-4 p.m. Don’t do the distractions before then. By grouping them all into one time period, you allow yourself to do other work first, but still get in your distraction time. Another approach might be to do them for 10 minutes at the end of each hour — but stick to that 10-minute limit!

Write shorter emails. If email takes up a lot of your day, the simple change of limiting yourself to 3-4 sentences per email will make a big difference. First, it’ll drastically shorten the time it takes to write or respond to emails. And second, it’ll shorten responses to your emails, which means you’ll spend less time reading email.

Limit meetings. The fewer the better. Some top Google executives just do 5-minute meetings — anyone who attends these meetings had better be prepared, and concise. If you can get out of meetings and just get the notes, or find an alternative way to communicate, it could save you hours per week.

Automate. The fewer repetitive and routine tasks you have to do, the more time you’ll free up for creating and important work. So automate wherever possible: have people fill things out electronically, or get info from your website instead of emailing or calling you, or use a service that automatically processes payments or ships your product, and so on.

Eliminate paperwork. I used to deal with a lot of paperwork, and even then I knew it was a waste of my time. If businesses and organizations could have paperwork filled out electronically, it would save a lot of paper, copying, filing, and duplicate effort. Whenever possible, eliminate paperwork in favor of digital. This might be more of a long-term move.

Clear your desk. This can be done in a few minutes. Clear everything off the top of your desk. Only put back a few essential items. Everything else should be: filed, given to the appropriate person, given a permanent spot in a drawer, or trashed/recycled. Make quick decisions and then get back to work.

Get away. If you can get out of your office, you can find a peaceful spot where you can focus on important work. Find a spot where you can work, turn off the Internet and do your work, and then turn the Internet back on so you can email or upload it to the appropriate spot. Working from home is a good option here. The more you can do this (it might be once a week, or an hour a day, or half of every workday), the better.

Take breathing breaks. Every 15-20 minutes, get up from your desk, and take a breathing break. It could be simply walking around the office, saying hi to someone, or even better, getting outside to get some fresh air. Walk around, get your blood circulating, perhaps massage your neck and shoulders if you feel tension. Do some pushups if you want to get fitter. When you get back to work, remind yourself what you want to be working on, and clear away all distractions.

Practice a focus ritual. Every hour or two, do a refocus ritual. This only takes a minute or two. You might start it by closing down your browser and maybe other open applications, and maybe even take a walk for a couple of minutes to clear your head and get your blood circulating. Then return to your list of Most Important Tasks and figure out what you need to accomplish next. Before you check email again or go back online, work on that important task for as long as you can. Repeat this refocus ritual throughout the day, to bring yourself back. It’s also nice to take some nice deep breaths to focus yourself back on the present. More focus rituals.

Schedule big blocks of creative time. Not everyone can do this, but when possible, put a big block of 3-4 hours in your schedule for creating or doing other important work. Make this time inviolate, and don’t allow meetings or other things to be scheduled during this time. Be ruthless about clearing distractions and doing the work you love during these blocks, taking breathing breaks as necessary. Rejoice in your creativity.

Post written by Leo Babauta.

Read more about simplifying your work and your life in leo's book, The Power of Less.

5 Tips To Attract Good Men

One of the hardest parts of dating is not only finding available men, but also finding the right men for you. Most of us have suffered through at least one relationship we regret, and we don’t want to waste our time with dealing with partners who are never going to develop into a lasting relationship. But what can you do to attract the right man? A lot of it comes down to the way you approach dating in general. Here are some strategies you can use to help weed out the undesirables.

Know What You Want

It is very important to have a clear concept of what you want in a guy before adjusting your dating habits. Think about the things you like to do and what expectations you have of your men. Do you like a guy who provides constant attention, or do you like someone who gives you a little space? This is just one example of the things you should be asking yourself.

Present Yourself Accurately

One key to attracting a man with similar passions and interest is by simply being yourself. It is amazing how many people try to make false impressions about their career, education, or hobbies just to impress someone. While this may work initially, the other person will eventually discover the untruths and this will likely end the relationship. Thus, it is much better to be honest from the start.

Be Unique

Remember that the best men are being sought after by other women as well, so distinguishing yourself from the pack will help you gain an advantage. Don’t ever be ashamed of your hidden talents or pastimes. Sometimes people cover so much of their life up that they come across as shallow or boring. Be proud of what you can bring to a relationship and share it when appropriate. Ultimately, this will make you stand out from the crowd.

Go to the Men

Think about the places you frequent on an everyday basis. Are these the same spots you typically find good people? Stop wasting your time at bars and speed dating events. Instead, focus on places that represent your interests like church, volunteer events, and even the gym. You are much more likely to find a compatible man when you are doing the things you like to do anyway.

Never Settle

As frustrating as dating can be when you are on a cold streak, you should never feel pressured to settle for someone who doesn’t meet your expectations. Besides the fact that it is a waste of time, it could also hurt your chances to meet a better man. Of course it is acceptable to date new people and learn about them, but you also need to know when to let go. You don’t want to send the wrong message to potential suitors who see you with someone else.

Finding a good man could happen anywhere at any time, but there are things you can do to increase your chances. Start by knowing what you want and be proud of what makes you attractive and unique. From there you just need to put yourself in the right situations and distinguish yourself from the competition. Stay persistent and the right men will begin to notice.

How to Live a Better Life with Less

Post written by Leo Babauta

I’ve worked for more than 5 years now to simplify my life, and while I’ve discovered the sublime joys of living a simple life, I’ve realized most people don’t get it.

“Why would I want LESS?” they ask themselves. “Less is less fun, harder, monk-like, boring.”

The simple answer: because life can be so much better with less.

That’s hard to believe if you haven’t tried it, but today I am happier than ever. I’m better off financially than ever, now that I’m out of debt and living blissfully debt-free. I am unencumbered by a crapload of stuff, and I have room in my life for what’s truly important: my family, my writing, and my twin loves of reading and running.

The beautiful thing is that you don’t need to earn more money or buy a bigger house or car or have a bigger company in order to have this better life — you need less of all of that. It’s attainable simply by cutting back.

Here’s how to do it — briefly. This will be familiar to long-time readers, but it’s a necessary primer for newer converts.

Do less. Cut back on your workload, on your commitments, on your schedule, on your todo list. Focus on the things that make the highest impact, and drop everything else. You can do this slowly, over time, but do it consciously. The result is you’ll have more room in your life for other things, you’ll be more effective with your time, and you’ll be less stressed out. Read more.

Have less. If you learn that enjoyment of life isn’t having stuff, you’ll be able to let go of it … and declutter. Having a life with a minimal amount of clutter is so enjoyable, so peaceful, it’s hard to describe. It leaves you feeling free, without the stress that comes with an overwhelming amount of stuff, and leaves room in your life for relaxation. Less of a focus on buying stuff means you also have more money, or less debt, or you need to work less in order to live the life you want. Any of those options are good.

Produce less. This is nonsensical to a lot of people — after all, aren’t we all trying to Get Things Done? To Get More Done? Well, that’s the norm, I’ll grant you that — people seem to think that producing grand amounts is great — to write a prodigious amount, to code a prodigious amount, to create a ton of products, to churn out services at an astronomical rate, to have more billable hours than anyone else. Well, that’s fine if you want your life to be all about churning out stuff, but not if you’re concerned about quality, about beauty, about meaning, and about having a life outside of producing. Instead, try producing less — spend more time making better things. Spend more time editing your work down to less, leaving only the most essential parts. Embrace a philosophy that work which is edited down to a minimum is better than volume.

Consume less. This is about how many resources we consume, how much we eat, how much waste we produce from our consumption. Instead of consuming, focus on enjoying what you have, preserving the beauty in what you’ve attained, being content with what’s already around you.

Connect online less. I love connecting with others online. Unfortunately, it consumes our lives if we let it. So if you do a lot of connecting online, through email and web surfing and blog reading and Twittering and Facebooking and what have you … cut back a little. Disconnect from time to time. Read the beta version of my book, Focus.

Connect with others, and your passions, more. Ah, here’s the good part. This is how your life becomes better, not worse, in living a life with less. It’s better because you disconnect from the online world in order to connect with what’s truly important: your loved ones, real people in the real world, and the things you really love doing. You’ve cut things out of your life not just for the sake of cutting, but for the sake of making room for what you’re really passionate about.

Edit, edit. Simplifying isn’t a one-step process of cutting things out. It’s an ongoing process, not only of simplifying but of putting a focus on what’s essential … and then continuing to edit. Think of your life as a work of art, and you as the artist. Come back to it and make it more beautiful by whittling away the unnecessary. Then come back and do it again, and again, until all you’re left with is what’s most beautiful, what’s most essential.

Life can really be better with less, if what’s left is what you love.

You Can Change Everything by Giving !

We often think that our success depends on focusing on ourselves. But this simply isn’t true.

Every successful person knows that you become successful because of how much value you give to others. Yet, we often forget this.

It works the same way with our happiness, too. When I become overly focused on my goals and my feelings and my desires, I start to feel down. When I become focused on myself, it’s easy to think that everything is about me. But it’s not. And when I’m so focused on myself, I start to become easily offended by others. I think that others do things that I don’t like because of me, when they’re really just doing those things because of themselves.

See how easy it is to become depressed when you feel overly self-important?

That’s why it helps to turn your attention to others, and put your focus on giving, rather than receiving. You would think that by giving all the time, you will never receive. But the exact opposite is true; it’s because you give so much that you attract the desire for others to give back to you.

It’s crazy how this works:

The best way to be interesting is to be interested in others.

You gain more physical energy by burning energy when you exercise.

The way to be loved is to be lovable.

When you seek to understand, others are more likely to want to understand you back.

By helping others, they are more inclined to help you in return.

I think it’s interesting how we intuitively know these things, but somehow our ego gets in the way. Our self-importance makes us think that we need to receive to justify giving. This is the same part of you that seeks to be right instead of happy. Is it worth it?

I think it’s a much more empowering position to be the one that gives first. Otherwise, who knows how long it will take the other person to initiate, if it even happens at all. To wait for others to give is like waiting for someone to give you what you want. Why not just ask and find out what happens? Giving yourself away.

When you can give without expecting anything in return, you have mastered the art of living.

Is it any wonder that the most successful people in the world are masters of giving? The most successful people are the ones that provide the most value to others.

So the question is: How can you give more of yourself away?

I think you’ll find, as I have, that you’re most fulfilled not when you’ve done something really cool, or when you’re doing something that excites you (not that those things aren’t important). You are most fulfilled when you’re serving others.

Here are some suggestions for small, but powerful ways you can give to those around you today:

Drop the expectations that you have for your partner and your family. Instead of expecting them to behave a certain way to you, see how you can show them how much they really mean to you.

Give away your attitude. This is really one of the most awesome ways you can give to others. Your attitude and positive energy has an amazing effect on those around you. Darkness, when approached with light, becomes illuminated. In the same way, low energy, when approached by higher energy, dissolves. Help dissolve others’ lower energy patterns by bringing your higher, positive energy to them.

Gift your intention. Whenever you encounter someone, say a silent blessing or send them a positive intention, instead of judging them.

Show your gratitude. Write a simple note or letter expressing to someone how much they mean to you and the reasons you love them. The impact this will have on the receiver is amazing.

Simply offer your help. If there’s nothing specific you can do for another person, simply let them know that if there is ever a way you can help, you would like them to let you know.

These things may seem small, but I think the world is changed by a profusion of micro ideas. Revolutions start with small actions.

5 Ways to Become Attractive

While you're sitting there reading this you're going to learn that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. When it comes to being attractive it all starts with how you feel about yourself. If you don't think of yourself as attractive you won't be able to exude this image when in public. So to better help you begin feeling attractive.

Here is a list of steps you can take.

#1 Take Proper Care of Yourself: This means that your diet should be a healthy one. It should be the one which is low calorie and low fat, and devoid of fast food. The majority of your meals should be filled with brightly colored vegetables and fruits. In addition, you should also have a strenuous workout regimen, one in which you exercise at least five times per week. Lastly, don't forget to drink plenty of water. In fact, water should be mostly what you drink because it help cleanses impurities from the body.

#2 Don't Subscribe to All the Latest Fads: Fads come and go, especially in the beauty and health industry. The sad fact is that most of these fads are scams and don't work. The only scientifically proven way to stay healthy and attractive long into old age is through a healthy diet and exercise.

#3 Don't Compare Yourself to Others: An attractive person is one who stands out from the rest of the pack, so it's amazing that most people strive to look like certain celebrities. Look, the fact of the matter is that no matter how hard a person tries they will never be able to mold their body and feature to look like their favorite famous person. Instead of focusing on this, they should focus on becoming attractive in a unique way. This approach will get a person noticed much faster.

#4: Don't Wear Yourself Out: Starving yourself and forcing yourself through rigorous exercise in the gym day in and day out is counterproductive to looking attractive and being healthy. Of course, you want to be thin. But you should not be so thin that you look sick. You can kill yourself in the gym everyday if you want, but you must make sure that you're eating a properly balanced diet so that your body can benefit from the exercise properly.

#5 Be Committed: You should understand that being healthy and attractive is a lifetime commitment. Sure, occasionally you're going to slip and eat a big greasy hamburger. But understand that 99.9% of the time you won't be doing this. There's absolutely no way around this. If you're not committed to the lifestyle you won't be able to live it. We live in a society where everyone has become obsessed with how other people see them. If you truly want to become attractive and start standing out then you have to follow the steps above, as well as build self-confidence in yourself that you're an attractive person. If you can do this, other people will pick up on this and you truly will be an attractive person.

5 Ways to Conquer Self Doubt

Self doubt has been something I’ve struggled with all my life, from debating whether I could get into a top tier university to believing I could succeed as a writer. It’s a very human emotion, and it’s made worse for some people because of life experiences or temperament. Self doubt also makes you feel alone. Sometimes you think you’re the only person in the universe who suffers from a crisis of confidence, and you wish that you could be more like your successful, self-assured neighbor. Well, I guarantee that your neighbor doubts himself every now and then too.

You won’t ever be able to rid yourself of doubt entirely – believe me, I’ve tried. But I hope that these suggestions will lessen your pain when dark thoughts are all around you.

Go back in time: The first step to overcoming self doubt is to recognize that it’s there in the first place. Think about the circumstances that are leading you to feel insecure, and see if you notice any patterns. Are there particular situations (for example, dealing with a new boss, speaking in public) that prompt you to feel this way? Make a note of times in the past when you doubted yourself but ended up coming through with flying colors. Knowledge and recognition of your past successes will bolster your courage regarding what you can achieve in the future.

Defeat the doubtful thoughts: In one column, write a doubtful thought, and in the opposite column, write facts that dispute that doubtful thought. For instance, suppose you are afraid to invite a new colleague to lunch because you’re afraid you won’t have anything to talk about and she won’t like me. Statements that refute that thought might be: “We can spend at least an hour talking about the office culture here and what she did before this” and “She will like me because I’ve made a sincere overture to get to know her better.”

Keep an event journal: If you are a person who experiences a lot of self doubt, then it’s time for a test. In the course of a single day, write down all of the things – simple and complex – that you accomplished without a hitch. These can be things like “ran productive staff meeting” or “had great talk with Brandon over coffee.” Then, write down the things that didn’t go so well. You will inevitably notice that the list of things that went well far outweighs the list of things that didn’t, and this will hopefully allow you to see your doubt in a different light.

Call on your cheerleaders: Often, our loved ones can see our lives much more objectively than we can. Being a natural introvert, I sometimes doubt my interpersonal skills, and when someone doesn’t respond to me in the way that I expect, I occasionally get paranoid. It always helps to call one of my best friends so that she can assure me that I do in fact have a lot of wonderful relationships in my life.

Celebrate your successes: When a situation in which you doubted yourself turns out better than you expected, don’t just nod and smile and move immediately on to the next thing. Take a moment and reward yourself for a positive outcome. Do something you enjoy like going to your favorite restaurant or eating a delectable dessert. Taking the time to cement positive emotions in your mind will hopefully make the doubt disappear more quickly next time.

Have a Great Hair By Fruits

Do you want to have great hair? I think most people would say yes. In fact, some fruits can help you achieve the goal.

Orange: also called sweet mandarin, contain much vitamin C. Essential oil extracted from the orange peel can strengthen the immunity, calm the nerves and drive away the anxiety and psychological pressure. The essential oil applied to the hair, it can remove the scurf, and make people cool and relaxed.

Kiwi fruit: it can be called the king of fruit. It is rich in carotene, vitamin C, and arginine. It has functions of anti-aging, anti-oxidation, radio resistance and anti-free radicals. What’s more, it contains ALA acid which helps the hair keep the moisture and improve the condition of hair completely.

Apple: it contains many nutrients that the skin and scalp need. For example, malic acid and pectin keep the hair moisturized and vitamin C whitens the skin. Besides, other nutrients in apples can restrain the growth of scurf, calm the scalp and relieve itching.

Kumquat: a large amount vitamin C contained in it can promote the metabolism of the scalp and keep the shiny color of dyed hair. Meanwhile, the fresh scent of kumquat can help you awake and relaxed.

Nectarine: nutrients such as proteins, fat, sugar, calcium, phosphorus, iron, vitamin B and vitamin C contained in it can deeply moisten and firm the skin. As a result, the skin becomes smooth, elastic and healthy. Meanwhile, it keeps the hair moisturized and soft.

Pawpaw: it is called “longevity fruit”. Its enzymes are similar to growth hormone of human bodies, and thus, eating more pawpaw can keep people young. Besides, vitamin C, iron, potassium, calcium, carotene and lutein in pawpaw provide the hair with many nutrients, deeply cleaning and nourishing the hair.

Fig: it has a high medical value. It helps digestion, clear away heat and prevent cancers. The rich minerals such as potassium, calcium and iron effectively let the moisture stay in the hair.

Carambola: it is a juicy fruit, regarded as the spirit of vitamins. It contains a most sugar, including cane sugar, fructose and glucose. Meanwhile, it contains malic acid, citric acid, oxalate, vitamin B, vitamin C, fat and proteins. All nutrients together help people’s digestion and preserve their health. For the hair, they keep its moisture and strengthen its elasticity so that it gets back its natural beauty.

And thus, we should pay attention to our daily diets. Make sure there are enough vitamin E, vitamin B, zinc, iron, silicon and so on. Eat fruits or other foods good for the hair every day, such as linseed oil, almonds, and nuts. Of course, water is indispensable. You’d better drink eight glasses of water every day. In addition, don’t expose your hair to the sun too much.

3 Ways To Teach Your Children How To Problem-Solve

Children can act out in inappropriate ways when they don't know how to problem-solve. It’s a mechanism by which they have learned to cope and they use it to make someone else solve the problem for them. Here are three of these ways that can give you a firm idea of how simplistic and realistic these tools are in turning things around and quickly.

1. Make direct statements. Be straightforward in telling the child what you want, be firm and clear, then walk away. Don't be worried that you seem powerless here. You have placed the responsibility and accountability for his actions squarely on his shoulders and that is powerful!

2. Disconnect. Stop communication with the child if they're being abusive or disrespectful. Make it a power vacuum, and you'll be amazed how fast things change. This is one that we've started using and I can't believe how good it works. Communication should not resume until the child takes responsibility for their behavior.

3. Make the consequences task-oriented and time-limited. As often as possible use consequences that are directly connected to the problem behavior, e.g. "you cannot use the phone until you finish your homework tonight". Remember your child cannot be punished into acceptable behavior. They should be short term, not a prison term.

In conclusion, don't expect overnight results. Results will come, just not all at once. And then the blame will be replaced with gratitude.

Finding Opportunity

When we are faced with a crisis or struggle we often despair.

But it’s in this struggle that the best opportunities emerge. If we’re keeping our eyes open.

A crisis is an opportunity to change grow learn reflect and become better. It’s where we discover who we are and how we can find a new way we couldn’t have imagined before the crisis presented itself. It allows us to practice patience and acceptance and find renewed hope — which is the most beautiful thing.

When you lost your job it was an opportunity for reinvention and to strike out on your own.

When you lost a family member to the unrelenting grip of death it was an opportunity to reflect on that loved one’s wonderful life and for your family to come together in a way never possible before.

When you failed at work you learned to improve and grow better.

When you injured yourself you learned patience and new ways to be healthy.

When your children throw tantrums they are teaching you more patience and the power of raw emotions and the wonder of childhood and what happens when you lose perspective.

When your partner had arguments it was an opportunity to learn more about each other and grow closer and become better at finding common ground.

When you daily face the terror of the void staring at you face to face it is your chance to push back and assert your will and imprint your soul upon this malleable world.

And that your friends is beauty. It is the finding of renewed hope and growth when all else seems bleak and lost.

In the struggle is the possible if we dare to look. [LINK]

17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Leo Tolstoy There are many ways for people to be unhappy, but happy people have common characteristics. That’s why a good way to be happy is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them. Please wait while images are being loaded..... So I studied what the great minds in history say about being happy. I went through hundreds of quotes on being happy and extracted the best lessons out of them. Not only are these lessons useful, they are also timeless in nature. Here I’d like to share what I learned with you. Without further ado, here are 17 timeless secrets of happy people:
1. Forget the past
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. Rita Mae Brown
You won’t be happy if you carry the burden of the past. Did you make mistakes? Did you have terrible experiences? Whatever they are, you should let them go. There’s nothing you can do about the past, so you’d better let them go and focus your energy on the present.
2. Take responsibility for your life
The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage. Thucydides
To be happy you should have freedom and the most essential freedom is the freedom to choose. No matter how bad a situation is, you can always choose how you respond to it. People can annoy you, but it’s up to you whether or not you will resent. But, as the quote above says, freedom takes courage. Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life. You shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong. Take the responsibility and you have the power to choose.
3. Build relationships
Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way. Unknown Relationships is where we can get true happiness in life. The reason is simple: only through relationships can we love and be loved. Make relationships your top priority and you are on your way to true happiness.
4. Develop multiple passions
The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy. Charlotte-Catherine
Passions lead you to happiness. So not only should you discover your multiple passions, you should also expand yourself to new passions. This way you will create new ways to happiness. The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.
5. Build your character
Character is the basis of happiness and happiness the sanction of character. George Santayana
Building your character is essential for happiness. When you are true to yourself and others, you will be in peace. The way to start building character is by making promises and keeping them. For example, you make promise to yourself that you won’t smoke. When you keep it, you are building your character. Or you make promise to others to be punctual. When you keep it, you build your character.
6. Be who you are
The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is. Desiderius Erasmus
You can only be happy if you become who you are. Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations. People may expect you to have certain job or certain way of living but don’t be intimidated by them. Find who you are and be yourself.
7. Live your life purpose
The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose. William Cowper To have a fulfilling life, you should find your life purpose and follow it faithfully. Find what matters to you and build the courage to follow it. Having a one-liner will help you internalize and communicate your mission.
8. Count your blessings
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have. Unknown
Being happy is easy if we are grateful. Unfortunately, seeing what we don’t have is often easier than seeing what we have. Sometimes we need to experience loss before appreciating what we have. So don’t take things for granted. Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be happy. You may start with these simple things.
9. Have positive mind
It is not the place, nor the condition, but the mind alone that can make anyone happy or miserable. Roger L’Estrange
Happy people know how to control their mind. They don’t let negative thoughts come in. While a situation may seem bad to others, happy people look at them in a positive way. They always believe that no matter how bad a situation seems, there is always something positive to take from it. Your mind can make or break you, so guard it well.
10. Work creatively
Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort. Franklin D. Roosevelt
When you work creatively on something you will find happiness. There is a well-known phenomenon regarding this called flow. When you are in the state of flow, you are fully focused on the task at hand that you no longer realize the passage of time. This state of flow allows you to achieve high productivity and being happy at the same time. Here are some tips to achieve it.
11. Start with what you have
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet. James Oppenheim
Happy people don’t need something they don’t have to be happy. They don’t need certain job or certain level of income. Instead, they learn to be happy with what they already have. They have learned the art of contentment. Be content with what you have and you will be happy.
12. Change
They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. Confucius
Being happy requires you to constantly grow. In fact, the process of learning itself is essential for happiness. Have you ever felt the excitement of being enlightened about something? Have you ever felt the excitement of achieving a new level in life? Top 10 Things You Should Change in Your Life gives you some practical tips on changing your life.
13. Use your talents
True happiness involves the full use of one’s power and talents. Douglas Pagels
There are two lessons to take from this quote. First, you should find your talents and second, you should use them to the fullest. Working in your talents is a sure way to enjoy your work because it’s something you are “hardwired” to do. Using your talents fully will make you even happier because of the satisfaction of doing your best.
14. Beware of small things
The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things. Ernest Dimnet
This is very true. Often it’s not big things that ruin your happiness. It’s the small things that do. Perhaps you don’t like someone or break some “small” promises. But even small leaks can sink your ship of happiness, so beware of them.
15. Distill your ambitions
Where ambition ends happiness begins. Author Unknown
While wanting to achieve more in your life is good, being obsessed by it is not. Do your best to improve yourself but don’t be obsessed by it.
16. Make others happy
Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself. Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is my favorite secret of happiness. The way to being happy is to make others happy first. The more you help other people and make them happy, the more you will be happy. Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness but through selflessness. You reap what you sow.
17. Practice compassion
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. The Dalai Lama
Compassion is perhaps the highest level of selflessness we could have. As this quote aptly says, practicing compassion can make both others and you happy. But of course, it requires practice. Start with thinking about the people around you. Look at their needs and find ways to meet them. Even if you don’t do it out of compassion in the beginning, your compassion will grow over time.